This is my first blog entry. I am a 26-year old male, married since my late teens, to a very beautiful, intelligent and optimistic wife. I am about to be locked away in a penis cage, a male chastity device, on my own suggestion and Her pretty instant approval. I will call Her "She" in this blog, unless She wishes to be adressed otherwise in the future.
I don't know yet, how long I will have to stay locked up or how She is going to be using my sexuality in the upcoming time. It is a bit strange to me, since I also have polyamorous inclinations (not only sexually), to have my sexuality even stronger controlled by a single person. I know this must sound pretty contradictory. But the thought has been turning me on for more than 6 months now. When I first told Her a few days ago, that such a thing as a penis cage exists, She seemed pretty interested from the beginning to try it out. Her statement was, that She likes it, if it turns me on - but I'm not sure if that is all of Her motivation. I instantly gave Her a pretty strong blog about "Female Led Relationships" to read, which She obviously consumed pretty fast, which further strengthens my feeling, that She is pretty much interested in me wearing it.
She has obviously ordered a CB6000 yesterday, which I can see from our shared PayPal Account. Since I'm rather a "Grower" than a "Shower", I wonder, if it will be too big and if we should have rather ordered a CG6000s. But since it was pretty cheap and I know of a way to only buy the main part of the small version for an acceptable price, we might get this in the future - if She finds pleasure in all of this.
Right now, the thought of being locked away really turns me on. It turns me on so much, that I get hard every time I think about it and I actually masturbated in our bathroom yesterday, even though we had sex the night before - which I usually don't do, because She doesn't like me masturbating, since She wants to be the way I find sexual fulfillment. She didn't notice (I think), but She will find out through this blog. Yesterday's masturbation was kind of an reaction to me realizing what being locked away means and what I will not be able to do in the future.
I imagine my first days with the cage to be turning me on so much, that I will be in constant pain by the volume restriction. I wonder if She will be able to stand this reaction without giving in, since She has not been that dominant in the past. We also haven't discussed, how long I will be locked away (maybe she only wants to try it for a few hours first? Maybe not?) or what Her real motivation is. I don't need Her to tell me, before it has been put on, but I would like to know, when the time has come. However, this will be Her decision, as will be everything else. I will have to obey everything She tells me, whether it means pleasing Her, writing a poem, drinking Her pee, putting things up on this blog, cleaning up, ..everything! If I don't obey, She could confront me with a delay of the date I will be set free - which is something I will probably not want. But I wonder, since She likes my real dick so much, how She will want to handle me fucking Her or not fucking Her - how often She will let me out or if She will not let me out at all. She has indicated, that She might buy a strap-on-penis for me to satisfy Her, but I can not yet believe that She'll actually buy one. But she might surprise me.
I wonder, how it will be, wearing this thing at work. I wonder, if I will be able to concentrate or if people will be able to tell. I wonder, if I can sit in it, stand in it, ride my bike in it (with the right saddle of course), going to a seat toilet all the time, taking a shower - speaking about showers, I wonder if She will be cleaning me herself or if She will let me do this. I will surely be tempted to masturbate.
I wonder, if She can imagine, what this means for me - having my sexuality controlled by her. She has never had a very strong sexual desire, but I've always been the total opposite. She will not only control me casually then, but ALL THE TIME I am wearing this. It will be a constant reminder of who is in control. I hope, She will be prepared for what is to come in the future.
I love Her very much.
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Things I've read:
- The Making of a Bitch (first day only)
- Lifelong Keyholder's advice
- Prostate massage
- Prostate Information and Milking
- About Hell's Gates
- Wolf's Blog (since March 12, 2011)
- Sub Pati's Blog (last entries)
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